TO: Ms. Moody
FROM: Sean McKeever
DATE: September 17, 2009
SUBJECT: Peer Review
The peer review done in class made me think a little more about how I will write my memoir. I am going to use the advice given by my classmate to better my writing. On all the points and questions that received a good review, I will leave alone. One suggestion was to make the main point more noticeable in the story. I will make sure to put the main point either with the introduction or somewhere soon after.
I can add more visuals on the events leading up to my tryout, or even the tryout itself. Also, I will describe visuals on the reaction of myself and my family. The whole outcome of the event is significant, but I will describe the smaller details as to why it is and the events that took place after the tryout. I will put in dialogues of my coaches, friends, and family throughout the tryout process. Some of the things I was told played a key role in how this changed me. Also, I will add the characters and personalities of the people that were directly involved with this event.
Aside from all of the things I mentioned, I need to work on much more. In past essays and writings I have never been one to elaborate or give a lot of details. In this memoir, I plan to use more details and ideas to help paint a better picture for the reader. Also I want the reader to feel how I felt and think how I thought during this event.
FROM: Sean McKeever
DATE: September 17, 2009
SUBJECT: Peer Review
The peer review done in class made me think a little more about how I will write my memoir. I am going to use the advice given by my classmate to better my writing. On all the points and questions that received a good review, I will leave alone. One suggestion was to make the main point more noticeable in the story. I will make sure to put the main point either with the introduction or somewhere soon after.
I can add more visuals on the events leading up to my tryout, or even the tryout itself. Also, I will describe visuals on the reaction of myself and my family. The whole outcome of the event is significant, but I will describe the smaller details as to why it is and the events that took place after the tryout. I will put in dialogues of my coaches, friends, and family throughout the tryout process. Some of the things I was told played a key role in how this changed me. Also, I will add the characters and personalities of the people that were directly involved with this event.
Aside from all of the things I mentioned, I need to work on much more. In past essays and writings I have never been one to elaborate or give a lot of details. In this memoir, I plan to use more details and ideas to help paint a better picture for the reader. Also I want the reader to feel how I felt and think how I thought during this event.
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